Baby Roman

While other women of a certain age are craving babies, this one is craving puppies.

German Police Dog Booties

German police dogs are going to be wearing special dog booties to protect their feet on duty.

One of the comments on this article wondered... what if the dog-shoe stepped in dog poo?

Nudist Culture

A little bit of sunshine today brought out the nudists to Baker Beach. I have no problem with nudists, as they are usually a peaceful lot, but I'm sometimes baffled by their beach behavior. Usually, the ones I run into are overweight, middle aged to older men. Today there was a mixture, but still, all men. One was running along the beach while twirling his frisbee. Roman usually likes to run wide circles around people to express his joy, but I kept him in check; didn't want him mistaking any of the floppy bits for something else.

There was another nudist, also playing with his frisbee alone; he'd toss it into the air, catch it, then toss again. What is with the frisbees? Was he hoping someone would join in? This particular fellow went on to lift and move a huge piece of driftwood (1x10'). Again, a mystery as to why (to me, at least).

My favorite nudist was the guy who decided to take a walk. He put on his shirt -nothing else-and continued down the beach. Guess he was modest? I know he gave the tourists a bit of a shock.

Beachmobile

Dogs Not Fooled

San Francisco, CA- Long time dog owner, Angela C., thought she got a good deal on some toys for her two dogs. "Three squeakies for $3.95, how can you beat that?" But her dogs will have nothing to do with the plastic toys ( even with the added bonus of the squeaky), despite their enticing appearance as various lunch and dinner meats.

"I've tried rotating the hot dog with the hamburger and steak, squeaking them repeatedly and throwing, but nothing works. They especially do not like the steak and regard it with the utmost disdain. I'll think twice next time I want to buy them anything. I'm really hurt by their ungratefulness but I guess no good deed goes unpunished."

Instead, the dogs continue to play with an old fake sheepskin tug , a one armed sock monkey and a dirty German shepherd stuffed toy (the squeaky in each long dead).

Zoomobile

The Zoomobile paid us a visit last month. I was so proud that my students knew all about animal classification, adaptation and camouflage (and, I was proud of myself because I correctly guessed that the snake was a ball python :P )! They may be struggling with two digit subtraction, but they know the difference between a mammal, bird, fish, amphibian and reptile!

German Shepherd Unclear

San Francisco, CA-German shepherd unclear why people are afraid of him.

Tension Increases over Battle for Pack Leadership

San Francisco, CA-Tikka, a six year old yorkshire terrier, shih tzu, Bernese mountain dog mix, is slowly gaining the upper hand in the insidious battle over the alpha bitch position of the small Greenwich Street pack.

"Establishing dominance over the German shepherd was key to her strategy." her trainer stated in an interview last week. "Next on her list was the grey tabby, then the teenage human." At every opportunity, Tikka has marked her territory in the teenager's room using a two pronged approach...urine and feces. She was not taking any chances.

By maximizing the breed traits of the yorkie and shih tzu (stubbornness and cuddliness), Tikka is slowly dissolving the calm assertive energy of the current pack leader. While the German shepherd continues to obey all commands, even if there is NO tasty treat in the offing, Tikka has remained committed to her resolve of never giving in unless food is involved. While off leash, she uses the dart and dodge techniques of evasion. Offering play bows and yips to entice the leader closer, she then darts out of reach, despite the firm recall given.

Her challenge continues to be in the bedroom, but she is slowly gaining ground. Since being banned from sleeping on the bed, she has resorted to sneaking up during the middle of the night. The black cat, her current rival for dominance over the bed, has threatened to expose her. A few times she has been caught, but by putting 'her cute face on', she has weakened the female human. A few submissive licks to the chin, and it's all over. Slowly, she creeps towards the pillow.

"She will not give up without a fight," Tikka's trainer continues. "It will take patience and consistent leadership to get this dog to accept her follower status. I advise the owner to not look at her cute face or fall for her cute antics. A firm program of NILF training is a must. All of this is part of Tikka's ploy to take over. Right now, it seems the black cat is the only one not falling for Tikka's charms."

Local Teen Hesitant About Homework

San Francisco, CA-Marina resident Erik P. is frustrated with his parents' constant demands that he do his homework. "Not only do they want me to do homework every night, but they want me to do it well." Erik shared with a sigh of exasperation. Since the implementation of PowerSchool in early February, an online, up to the minute grade tracking device, Erik's life at home has become a "living hell." Prior to PowerSchool, Erik was able to get by with a, "Yeah, I did it." response to the daily homework question.

"Now, I have no quality time to myself. I'm exhausted after a day of High School and baseball practice. I need some down time." Erik unplugs with Guitar Hero III and Call to Duty on xBox in addition to instant messaging with his 116 buddies. "At least, I used to...until PowerSchool. Now, my parents say no video games and shit on a school night. Can you believe that? Oh, and get this! If I don't do what they say, I'm grounded. What the F?" He admits to signing on to AIM despite the risks, and minimizing when his mother walks by. "A guy's gotta do what he's gotta do to maintain his sanity."

Tensions at home reached critical mass this week when it was discovered that Erik had several missing homework assignments. "Yeah, I didn't do them...but, so what? My mom totally overreacted. She was nagging at me, saying how everything she does, she does for me, blah, blah, blah. Let me tell you, I saw her, with my own two eyes, reading a book in bed just last week! How is that doing anything for me? How can I believe anything she says now?"

Erik's mother, Angela C., could not be reached for comment.

When asked what he will do now, Erik replied, "I guess I'm gonna have to do it (the homework) and actually turn it in on time...but, I won't like it. WHATever!"

It's V Day...so, Hug a Dog

What better way to celebrate a day dedicated to love than to hug a dog?

Waking Up to Corn Chips

Usually, I try to wake up before my alarm while the house is still quiet. I love starting my day in silence as opposed to an annoying noise (and what alarm is not annoying? Well, actually, my zen alarm was peaceful until it broke, but I digress).

This morning, though, I woke up to a smell. The smell of corn chips. My brain was confused until I opened my eyes to two Tikka feet half an inch from my nose!

I'm not sure what makes dog feet smell like Fritos; but I've yet to meet a dog whose feet did not give off the aroma of corn chips.

It's a mystery.

Where am I?

Market and 6th? Ellis and Leavenworth?

No...I'm in the Marina! This lot has been empty for over three years. It used to be a gas station and now has become a dump. In addition to your every day garbage & graffiti, I have found hypodermic needles, chairs, a lawnmower and someone's home (a grocery cart filled with clothes and unmentionables). I've also come across the owners of said home sleeping in the bushes. Actually, Tikka found them during our morning constitutional and the people shouted, "ARRRRRrrr!" from the bushes. Maybe they are homeless pirates?

This morning I found an "I 'heart' you" pillow which someone later moved to the building next to the dump, several skateboards sans wheels and something I have yet to figure out. Not sure what that thing is.

What will become of this lot? More million+ dollar 'townhomes' (the fate of the former gas station across the street from here)? Another overpriced gas station (there is nothing 'regular' about 3.39 a gallon!)?

In the meantime, I fantasize how I can turn it into my own private dog park.

Sick Puppy

Roman has been sick this week. It started off with the random vomit and has progressed to explosive well...the other end! Since he's still active with no temp, I'm trying to treat it at home. In addition to fasting and a bland diet, I decided to give him some liquid Pepto this morning. Not a success.

Driving to Work

Quandary

We have a running dialog in this house.

"Erik, do your chores."

No response, for some reason.

"Erik, you need to do your chores...I mean it!"

What's wrong with this kid?

So, Erik washed the dishes recently. He really had no choice. I got tired of nagging and decided to get firm. No laptop until the chores are done. It worked but I had to bite my tongue when I saw how he stacked the dishes. If you don't see anything wrong with this picture, then you must be a guy. I'm sure the gals are cringing. I simply had to take a picture of this before I saved the dishes from imminent peril. When it was all over, I took a deep breath and said, "Thank you honey! I so appreciate you doing the dishes. Good job!" What I wanted to say was, "WTF are you doing?!"

Anyone for a Swim?

First, we have an oil tanker spill over 50,000 gallons of fuel oil into the bay back in November, now we have a 2.7 million gallon raw sewage spill.

"The amount of sewage spilled would cover a football field - including the end zones - 6.3 feet deep...Signs were posted along Marin County shoreline and at San Francisco beaches - including Crissy Field, Baker Beach, China Beach and Aquatic Park - to discourage people from entering the water."

Someone's going to need a lot of doggy bags to pick up that doo doo (6.3 feet deep?! Now, that is just wrong. I can't get the image out of my head.One Roman doo doo is about 2 inches deep on a good day. So, we are talking about shit as deep as 19.5 Roman doo doos!).

But, thank doG for people like Dolphin Club member, Dave Maloney:

He was "... fixing to take a swim near Fisherman's Wharf when he learned about the sewage spill Friday afternoon. He went in anyway.

"It looks clean," he said. "We've already had two tide shifts since last night. That cleans it out."

The old-timers, he noted, swam in the bay every day before San Francisco and other communities even bothered to treat their sewage. "It cures a lot of sicknesses," he said of the 47-degree water. "I haven't had a cold in 25 years."

Leave it to an Irishman to put things in perspective. We've (being half Irish myself) certainly dealt with worse shit (pun intended) and things always get resolved after a couple of pints. What's a little raw sewage?

A Beach, A Sunset

What helps keep me balanced are walks on the beach, with my dogs. While I prefer sunrise (I feel sunrise is an auspicious time-a new day, anything can happen sort of deal), I'll take a sunset. Have I mentioned why I love dogs so much? They are beings that live totally in the moment... with joy, even.

Balance

How does one achieve this:











When you've had a week feeling like this?



For quite a while, I've been trying to achieve balance in my life. Seemingly simple, but, in actuality, quite elusive. Sort of a 'now you have it, now you don't' sort of feeling. At times, I feel I am truly in the 'flow' (Caroline?) of my life. I liken this to what it must feel to be a talented juggler full of equanimity. Stuff happens but I take it all in stride. Give me more, I can take it! I also make stuff happen. Movement. Creation. Loss. Recovery. Movement. Forward. Yes, some failures; but out of the failures, I reap some successes, too.

Then, I drop the ball...and another...and another and I can't remember what it was like when everything somehow worked...I'm too busy scrambling after balls and using profanity.

But, then something does work and I somehow get all the balls in the air again.

If I think about it, it's quite exhausting. Sometimes, I think the gods are truly bored and just fooking with us. So, best not to think about it too much. It always gets me into trouble, anyway!



This week, I blame my lack of balance on Mercury going retrograde in Aquarius. When Mercury starts moving backwards in the sky, he always messes with communications and electronics and simply causes a generalized chaos all around. Car breaks down? Mercury retrograde. Computer crashes? Mercury retrograde. Fight with a loved one? Yup, blame in on Mercury. Buy something new during a retrograde? It's sure to cause you much grief at a later date.

Do I really believe this? You bet your astrological musings I do!